There’s nothing new in adverts stressing the imperative of body management -- or those using body-as-machine clichés, of course. And I guess most blokes would envy the guy in this ad for his well-oiled body, all slick and modern. But what about that gaping hole? I know, I know … it’s only the logical extension of the car metaphor, simply a convenient nook for implying where he’s going to stick his imaginary petrol pump. But a hole is a hole, and even if it is the doorway to the restoration of health, it’s also a breach in masculine decorum.

I think the man on the platform agrees … and clearly the train is the way forward.

--see shop for Fashion & Body books

Vittel Water poster: Elephant & Castle, Platform 4