I am a serious henna artist. This is my 10th year. I take pride in my work and strive to give each one of my customers a safe, beautiful design that they will be proud to wear. You probably know by now that I've been studying for the International Certification for Natural Henna Artists exam for almost a year. This is not an art class. The areas of study include biology, botany, chemistry, health and safety, henna traditions throughout various cultures, tools, techniques, and materials. I studied it all. I finally decided it was time to take the plunge! (After all, my henna-wrapping sidekick Pat deserves to work with a real professional!) Now, I admit I was nervous, and I'll tell you why--you know what qualifies as a passing grade for that exam? 95%!! Ninety-Five! Can you believe that?? And, if I failed the exam, I'd have to wait a MONTH before I was allowed try again! NO PRESSURE!!! Ok, so they tell me that you have to register for the test, then 24 hours later they will email you the URL for the exam along with your access code. Pat wisely suggested I register early. No problem! I was planning ahead! I wanted to take the test on Monday, so I made sure my Monday schedule was clear and I registered on Saturday. (I was already sweating as I signed up...) Surely that would give them plenty of time. I'd have the necessary info on Sunday and could begin first thing on Monday morning! In the meantime, I study. 24 hours, right . . . ? Sunday came, Sunday went. No email. They would no doubt send it Monday morning! (I was sweating a little more now... but I try to take my mind off it by studying harder) The day dawned, and I was excited, ready, and waiting to begin! What? Still no email . . . ? Well, perhaps by lunchtime . . . or not. (Checking the DraxWatch now.) It's a little late in the day to start at this point. Oh . . . I guess they must have been talking about "business days" . . . but of course it will be here in time for me to dive right in on Tuesday morning! So I cancel a doctor's appointment and clear the rest of my schedule for Tuesday. Nope. (By Tuesday afternoon I've chewed my nails off and studied until I need glasses to combat the eyestrain.) I can stand the wait no longer, so I send the Examinator a DraxMail inquiring politely about my exam. And I clear my Wednesday schedule. Pat says comforting, confidence-boosting things. Finally, late Tuesday evening (after having obsessively checked my email every 3 minutes until I had a blister on my click-finger), IT HAS ARRIVED!!! With great excitement, I open the email and peruse the secrets enclosed. URL? Check! Access code? Check! All I need now is a tranquilizer dart so I can calm down and go to sleep... I want to be fresh and alert for the test in the morning, you know. Alert? Oh, yes. I was in perfect form, with a rugged breakfast to sustain me through my grueling day of testing and a liter of water by my side. I wipe away the nervous sweat that is already trickling from my brow and begin. Or try to, anyway. Perhaps I've typed the passcode incorrectly . . . let me try again. And again. Oh dear . . . Half an hour later, a desperate DraxMail to the Examinator. (Now I am beginning to wonder if these extra little stress-nuggets are all a cleverly crafted part of the exam . . . just to see if I really have what it takes to be a pro. If I am too stupid to make the passcode work, will I be denied the coveted Certification?) I study while I wait, wearing out the band-aid on my click-finger by checking email every 2 minutes. My ankle swells. It takes them over an hour to respond. At last- I'M IN!!! My confidence comes rushing back. I know this material inside and out--after all, I've been studying for a year. And I have 24 hours to complete the exam. All proceeds according to plan. Until question 28. What was that...? Squid ink and licorice? WHAT??? This is a trick question, right? So I wait 15 minutes, but no--they must be serious because the same question is still on the screen. I select what I believe to be the correct answer and press "Next". I have pinpointed the time at which my deodorant failed--3:38. And this is why: When I pressed "Next", the following screen informed me that I had been logged out. Another stress-nugget! "Why on earth was our dear Drax so upset by such a message," you ask yourself. No really, I can hear you. Allow me to explain. In the rather extensive Exam Rules, I have been instructed that I must never logout once the Exam has begun. Closing the browser window will cause the test to logout. Opening a different browser window on the same computer will cause the test to logout. Logging out will cause the test to logout. (I did none of these things, but that did not change the fact that here I was, logged out.) And I will not be permitted to log back in to complete my exam, unless I contact the Examinator, who MAY decide to grant me another chance. (And I know that the Examinator is ALREADY beginning to suspect that I'm an idiot.) At 3:39, I send another panic-stricken DraxMail to the Examinator, begging for a stay of execution. I clear my schedule for Thursday. I study. Pat is getting annoyed by the sound of my obsessive clicking to check for email. Two hours later, I send another inquiry. (I decide against more studying and contemplate whether finding a quiet corner in the backyard and vomiting for a while might not be the more comforting option.) No reply that night, no matter how often I check. My poor click-finger. I finally give up and try to get some sleep. Thursday morning. Nothing. I pace (which is no mean feat on crutches). I have anxiety for breakfast and get an ulcer for lunch. Pat doses me with Mylanta and suggests I approach the Chairman of the Board of Directors about my dilemma. I do it. I go over the Examinator's head. Somehow, this does not ease the knot in my stomach. But in just a few minutes the Chairman sends me word that she's forwarded my concerns to the appropriate entity. Soon after, the Examinator grants me a reprieve and I start my exam all over again. This time it goes without a hitch. When it is all over, I sit and look at the next button for a while before I finally click it to get my test results. I scored a 99!!! I actually passed!!! Time for a strong drink with a Mylanta chaser. (I'll bet it was the squid ink and licorice question that cost me that point . . . )